Women Don't Want What You Think They Want

πŸ“– 8 min read

In 2015, researchers 3D-printed 33 blue plastic penises in different sizes and asked 75 women to hold them, handle them, and pick their ideal. The result: women preferred only slightly above average. And a 68,000-woman global survey found that kindness, intelligence, and supportiveness ranked astronomically higher than any physical trait β€” including size. Here's the data that should permanently reframe how you think about what women actually care about.

The Experiment: 33 Blue Plastic Penises

Prause et al. (2015) β€” PLOS One

Researchers at UCLA and the University of New Mexico, led by sexual psychophysiologist Dr. Nicole Prause, created 100 3D models of erect penises varying in length and circumference. They narrowed these to 33 representative sizes, 3D-printed them in blue plastic "to minimize racial skin-color cues," and placed them in baskets.

75 women (ages 18–65) were asked to select their ideal penis size for two scenarios: a long-term partner and a one-night stand. To verify the women were making meaningful choices (not just grabbing randomly), researchers also tested their ability to recall a model's size after handling it β€” and they recalled accurately, especially for circumference.

The Results

Long-Term Partner
6.3" Γ— 4.8"
Length Γ— Circumference
Veale 2015 clinical average: 5.17" Γ— 4.59"
One-Night Stand
6.4" Γ— 5.0"
Length Γ— Circumference
Only 0.1" longer and 0.2" thicker than LT

The headline finding: women's ideal was only slightly above average. Not 8 inches. Not "the bigger the better." A little above average β€” and the difference between their long-term and one-night-stand preferences was tiny (0.1 inch in length, 0.2 inches in circumference).

"Since context matters, men should be thinking 'fit' rather than 'fat' with respect to their penis size. Women may prefer different sizes for different reasons at different times, so chances are very good any guy is someone's ideal for the relationship type they are seeking."

β€” Dr. Nicole Prause, lead researcher

Important Context: Average vs. "Ideal"

Now, let's be honest about what this data does and doesn't say. The Veale 2015 clinically measured average is 5.17 inches erect. The Prause study's ideal was 6.3–6.4 inches β€” about 1.1 inches above the clinical average. That's not "only slightly above" the Veale number; it's meaningful.

However, several things put this in perspective:

The Prause study's most important finding isn't the specific numbers β€” it's that women's preferences cluster close to average, not at the extremes. In a world where porn depicts 7–9 inch penises as normal, the finding that women's actual preference is barely above average should be deeply reassuring for the vast majority of men.

The 68,000-Woman Survey: What Actually Matters

If the Prause study tells you what women prefer in terms of size, the Clue/MyONE Ideal Partner Survey tells you how much size matters compared to everything else. Conducted in collaboration with researchers at the University of GΓΆttingen, it surveyed 68,000 women across 180 countries.

What Women Rated "Very Important" in a Long-Term Partner

1
89% β€” Kindness
2
87% β€” Supportiveness
3
72% β€” Intelligence
4
65% β€” Education
5
60% β€” Confidence
6
52% β€” Ambition
7
44% β€” Financial security
8
41% β€” Attractive face
β€”
22% β€” Attractive body

Physical attractiveness β€” including everything about a man's body β€” was rated "very important" by only 22% of women. That's the entire body, not just penis size. The gap between kindness (89%) and physical attractiveness (22%) is staggering.

For physical features specifically: attractive smile and attractive eyes were the top choices. An average-sized penis was rated more desirable than a large one. Women with more sexual experience placed slightly more importance on size, but it still ranked well below personality traits.

The Swiss Study: What Makes a "Good-Looking" Penis

Researchers at the University of Zurich asked 105 women to rank the importance of eight penile characteristics. The results challenge the assumption that size is what women notice most:

Length ranked sixth and girth seventh out of eight characteristics. Women cared more about how a penis looked overall β€” skin quality, grooming, shape β€” than about how big it was.

The Practical Takeaway

If you're worried about impressing a partner, the evidence overwhelmingly suggests that your time is better spent on hygiene, grooming, communication skills, emotional intelligence, and sexual technique than on obsessing over length. The things women consistently rate highest β€” kindness, confidence, intelligence, attentiveness β€” are all things you can develop. Size is the one thing you can't change and also the one thing that matters least.

Why Men Get This So Wrong

If women don't care much about size, why do men obsess over it? Several factors create a distorted picture:

A Note on the 25% Finding

The Prause study found that 25% of women reported having ended a relationship due in part to penis size, with "too small" being more common than "too large." This is real data that shouldn't be dismissed. However, "due in part to" is doing a lot of work β€” size was one of multiple factors, not the sole reason. And 75% of women had never ended a relationship over it. For the vast majority, size is a non-factor in whether a relationship succeeds or fails.

What This Means for You

The data is clear. Women's ideal penis size is only slightly above average. When asked to rank what matters in a partner, physical traits fall far below personality, intelligence, and emotional qualities. And when asked specifically about penile features, size ranks below grooming, skin appearance, and shape.

This doesn't mean size is completely irrelevant. It means its importance is wildly inflated in male psychology compared to its actual importance to most women. The gap between men's anxiety about size and women's actual feelings about it is one of the most well-documented misperceptions in sexual health research.

If you're at 5 inches β€” the clinical average β€” you're within range of what the vast majority of women prefer. If you're 4.5 inches, you're within a half-inch of average. Even if you're well below average, the research is consistent: technique, communication, attentiveness, and emotional connection determine sexual satisfaction far more than any measurement.

See Where You Actually Stand

Compare yourself to 15,521 clinically measured men β€” not porn, not locker room rumors, not your own anxiety.

Use the Penis Calculator β†’

Related: You Didn't Earn Your Big Dick β€” why size is genetic luck, not achievement. And Still Growing at 19? β€” if you're still developing, you might not be done yet.

Medical Disclaimer: This article is for educational purposes only and is not medical advice. Preferences vary between individuals and these studies reflect population averages, not universal truths. If concerns about penis size are significantly affecting your mental health or relationships, consider speaking with a healthcare provider or therapist. If you're a young person, talk to a trusted adult, school counselor, or doctor.